GOF2 Chapter 12 part 1

CHAPTER 12: Pow! To the Moon! (Part 1)

Lakilester floated to Crump's door and knocked gently on it.

"Hey Crump! It's me! Let's finish the game!"

Nothing happened. There wasn't a sound from the other side of the door.

Lakilester tried the doorknob. It was locked from the inside.

He knocked harder. "C'mon, Crump, open the door!"

Still no reply.

Lakilester pounded on the door like Mario does with an Ultra Hammer. "CRUMP, IF YOU DON'T UNLOCK AND OPEN THIS DOOR IN TWO SECONDS, YOU'LL BE FEELING SERIOUS PAIN!!!"

Despite the fact the Lakitu had worn through a quarter of the door in six seconds, no Crump came to apologize. Or complain for that matter.

Brimming with anger, Lakilester moved fifteen feet down the hallway and pulled out a Bomb Spiny.

Four seconds later, a huge explosion rocked the G. O. S. Volcano.

Yosie was immediately alerted and dashed to the scene. The front wall of Crump's room was completely blown away.

"Lakilester!" Yosie shouted at the Commando, "I let you come on a mission and this is how you thank me? By blowing up Crump's wall?"

"He wasn't answering the door and it was locked," Lakilester replied.

Yosie was about to scold him further when he noticed something else. Crump wasn't anywhere in sight. An explosion as big as that would have least attracted his attention and sent him running in here.

Dicer was approaching as Yosie floated into the room.

"What in blazes happened here?" he said in his British accent.

Yosie tried the bathroom door, only to discover it too was locked. He pulled out the G. O. Wand and knocked the doorknob clean off. It clattered on the wood floor. Yosie pushed the door open using the wand to discover a most peculiar sight: the air vent had been turned into a large tunnel.

He turned to Lakilester and Dicer. "Get the PhDs over here, and have 'em bring the floor scanners and the non-footprint shoes. Crump's gone, and I want to know why!"

***

The rest of the trip on the Excess Express to Rougeport was uneventful after all the rumbling on the roof of the train stopped, with the exception of Roy carrying Iggy back to their compartment by the throat, rambling on how he was beat up by a black puffball.

It was early evening when the train arrived at the station (the engineer, upon hearing Koopalings were on the train again, was gunning the engine the entire trip), and everyone stumbled out onto the platform with their heads spinning with the exception of Roy and Iggy.

Roy was still extremely upset. Iggy had noticed that the shade-wearing Koopaling had been quiet since they returned to their cabin after the fight that afternoon, probably brooding over his loss. Roy quietly stomped off the platform, Iggy following behind at a close but safe distance.

He noticed Roy was heading towards the gate for the blimp to Glitzville. He was confused; Yosie had already struck Glitzville.

The Cheep Cheep attendant at the gate noticed the two Koopalings heading toward him.

"Um... may I help you?" he asked politely.

His reply was that of Roy making a fist and glaring at the Cheep Cheep with a "get in my way and die" kind of look.

The attendant got the Koopa's gist. "I see, sir. Have a safe flight." He quickly hopped aside, and Roy and Iggy entered and boarded the airship. A few minutes later, at about 8:00 PM on our clock, the blimp lifted off and began its flight to Glitzville.

Besides the two Koopalings, there weren't very many people on board the blimp, five others not counting the crew to be exact. There was a Koopa that had one of those newspaper hats on in the row behind them and across the aisle, a gray Lakitu holding a photo camera (those that have been to Glitzville in Paper Mario 2 know what I'm talking about) sitting next to the Koopa, and a family of three Bob-ombs in one of the front most rows.

After Iggy observed that Roy had drunk his cup of soda without crushing it in his grip (a vague sign he had calmed down), he asked, "Um... Roy?" in an unsure voice.

"What?" Roy replied in a gruff tone.

Iggy picked his words with care. "Last I checked, Yosie wasn't heading for Glitzville, he already hit that place."

"I know that," Roy said as he gulped down a few peanuts.

"Then why are we heading there?"

"Simple. We failed to stop Yosie, and I figured that the only thing that would cheer me up was to see two weaklings try to overpower each other in a fight, but since my Sports Hall is too far away, I figured Glitzville was the next best thing. Besides, I still need to scope out the competition a bit more, see what I have to beat. Can't depend on my allowance forever."

Iggy nodded in a comprehensive way to show he understood. Of course, he knew that Roy would try to break in and fight both contestants at once, but at least it was also in his best interests as well; he needed to see a battle to relax after being carried across the Excess Express by Roy's fist.

The Koopa in the reporter hat and his camera Lakitu got up and moved toward Roy and Iggy.

"Iggy and Roy Koopa, I presume?" the Koopa asked.

"Yeah, so what of it?" Roy responded.

"I'm RNN reporter John F. Emburg, and this is my camera Lakitu, Sammy. We're from the Rougeport News Network, and we'd like to interview you two."

"Why?" Iggy asked.

"We heard about the tussle on the Excess Express before we boarded the blimp, and we'd love to put it on our newsletter."

"Gee, I don't-" Iggy started, but Roy finished.

"We'll do it! It's about time someone recognized by greatness!"

Iggy slapped his own face and ended up knocking his glasses off. Sammy picked them up and gave them back. "Here you go," he said in a kid voice.

"Thanks," Iggy said as the replaced the glasses.

John flipped open his notebook and pulled out a pencil. "Now here's the first question..."

***

The screams of Ludwig and Lemmy traveled across the Donut Plains. It was the only thing traveling faster then them at the moment, for they were being pursued by angry Yoshis wielding torches, pitchforks, and whatever else angry mobs carry. Apparently not every Yoshi on the island was happy with the Koopalings encasing them in eggs, despite the fact it was several years ago.

"INCREASE YOUR CURRENT VELOCITY, SIBLING!" Ludwig shouted to Lemmy.

"THIS IS AS FAST AS I CAN RUN WITHOUT MY BALL, GENIUS!" Lemmy shouted back.

The rainbow-haired Koopaling could hear the whole swarm of Yoshis catching up. If they did catch the two sons of Bowser, things would be extremely un-pretty.

Suddenly Ludwig cried, "INSPIRATION HAS STRUCK!" He reached into his shell and pulled out a powder-black hand grenade. After pulling out the pin with his teeth, he tossed it over his shoulder at the pursuing Yoshis.

As soon as the grenade made contact with the ground, it exploded into a huge cloud of black smoke. The mob ran blindly into the cloud, but to Lemmy's partial surprise, it didn't re-emerge on the other end.

"Ludwig, what did you throw?" Lemmy panted.

"That was a prototype smoke grenade I was developing in the lab for several solar cycles," Ludwig replied.

"I've never seen smoke stop a mob of Yoshis trying to hunt us down and kill us," Lemmy commented as he looked back, "And I seriously doubt Yoshis act like that to normal smoke."

Ludwig looked and was pleased with what he saw. The Yoshis had stopped in their tracks, dropped their weapons, and were weaving about in random directions, often bumping into each other and falling on the ground, where they absentmindedly proceeded to make dust angels. Their eyes weren't looking in the same direction as the other, and their tongues hung out of their mouths, drooling uncontrollably.

"Yep, that's definitely not ordinary smoke," Lemmy said upon seeing the Yoshis.

"It's a very special smoke," Ludwig said, almost unable to hide his excitement, "Did you see those white puffballs while we were on Yoshi's Island?"

"You mean the Fuzzies? Yeah."

"I've been performing a relatively miniscule amount of research. Those Fuzzies have a most interesting effect on a Yoshi's equilibrium."

"Ah, like how it makes them look like they're-"

"Affirmative. Being a plant, I knew Larry would love to have the chance to grow some, and I gave him special instructions so they would have the dizzy power of a normal Fuzzy tenfold. Those Yoshis are not going to have any senses for several hours. The only downside is that grenade was the only one I had, so I'll have to make another one when we get Karma back to the castle."

"Why do I have to go with you to rescue your Met?"

"If you don't, I'll throw you into the Yoshi mob, and the way they're going, they'll mistake you for their child. And when they wake up in the morning and you're in the kid's bed-"

"I think I've got the picture," Lemmy said, scared.

They approached a large ruin that looked like a collapsed castle. A sign a few yards away read "#2." The huge Vanilla Dome towered two miles past the ruin, a huge blue door facing the ruined castle.

"Can't we rest here, Ludwig?" Lemmy whined, "I'm tired."

"Cease with that insolent whining, sibling," Ludwig retorted and kept walking, "The infiltration of the Vanilla Dome is in the primary location on our schedule so those inferior Yoshis are unable to capture us."

And so they walked on towards the blue gates of the Vanilla Dome.

***

This e-mail has been brought to you by RNN, the Rougeport News Network, your center for news in the northern islands.

NEWS FLASH: AN AFTERNOON OF EXCESS

We have recently received a further two tips on the whereabouts of supercomputer276, and the news that another Crystal Star had been seized by the nefarious leader of the Game Over.

The first tip was around the time the Excess Express was leaving Poshley Sanctum today a full three days ahead of schedule today when an explosion sounded somewhere around Poshley Sanctum, the local museum. Police Toads arrived on the scene to see one of the walls blown up, the curator, Pennington, tied up on the floor, and the Garnet Star shattered. Police reports indicate that the explosion that had made the hole in the wall originated from the inside of the Sanctum, and that the Garnet Star found was made out of glass.

Pennington filled us in when we arrived at the scene.

"I was merely having my afternoon stanza in my office when this Lakitu in shades came in and told me to step outside. I recognized that shirt, however, and refused. He beat me up, tied me up with a length of rope in his cloud, and dragged out where you found me. My red herring [Crystal Star] was broken on the floor, and he demanded to know where the real one was or else he would blow up the Sanctum!"

As to who now possessed the Garnet Star, it was revealed by Pennington to be Iggy and Roy Koopa.

"I could tell that they wanted to stop Yosie as much as anyone else," Pennington continued, "Call it detective instincts if you must. So I decided I would let them have the real Crystal Star. It was so well hidden, that even if they didn't take it, Yosie would never have found it!"

"Allow me to guess," our interviewer said, "It was in that big painting in the back of the Sanctum."

Pennington then grew quiet and fainted.

However, what happened to the Garnet Star after it had been passed to the Koopalings? This was revealed by our second tip, an interview of Iggy and Roy Koopa by one of our star reporters, John F. Emburg, on the airship to Glitzville.

"I'm still in a bad mood about it," Roy grunted to our reporter, "I just go up there and try to beat up a stupid little kid and his lackey, and he pulls open this huge crate and sends a swarm of puny little black puffballs to fight me. And I lost! Do you know how embarrassing that is?! Do ya?! DO YA?!?!?!"

A photograph by Sammy, John's photographer, indicates that at this time, Roy picked up John by his coat and began to shake him up and down vigorously.

"Boy, Roy was in a really crabby mood after he got back in the train," Iggy Koopa told John after our reporter regained his senses, "He carried me back to our room by my neck and- Roy, please don't look at me that way. Hey, is that a fist? Roy, please don't hit- OW! MY FACE!"

One useful piece of information was obtained during this mess, however, and it is that Yosie stole the Garnet Star from Roy.

As the sun now sets, the Game Over has taken six Crystal Stars. However, supercomputer276's luck may have just run out, as only Mario himself truly knows just where the final Crystal Star is resting. We believe you can rest in peace for the night... unless you are the one guarding that final Star.

This has been brought to you by RNN, the Rougeport News Network.

***

Mario parted the grape vines that stood at the innermost edge of the fruited plain and peered through at the nearby mountain.

It was late, and the sun was setting behind Mt. Majesty, the Game Over headquarters, so the purple mountain appeared blacker in the twilight. The only lights coming from the mountain were from the doomship-docking bay halfway up, where they were disguised with a classic jack-o-lantern face. The two eyes on the face, just above the jagged evil smile five doomships wide (which was just enough as there were previously five doomships used by the Game Over), were glowing a faint red.

Mario retreated back into vines and crawled a few yards from the edge, where everyone else was waiting.

"It's-a still there," Mario whispered to his brother and the three Koopalings.

"That's a big duh," Wendy whispered back, "It's a mountain! How is something like that supposed to move?"

"Maybe with-" Morton started, but Wendy interrupted.

"That was a rhetorical question."

"I say we charge 'em!" Larry squeaked up, "Right now!"

"Not a good idea," Luigi disapproved, "Any base comes with-a security, and since Yosie is-a away at Rougeport, chances are it-a will be even tighter then-a usual."

"It's settled, confirmed, agreed on then," Morton declared (quietly of course), "We sneak, creep, crawl into the base, HQ, central operations through, by means of the ground-level tunnel, man-made cavern during the cover, safety of night, dusk, dark."

"Stop it with the synonyms, Big Mouth!" Wendy whispered harshly, "Unless you want to taste my contact again!"

"Hold-a on," Mario whispered before Morton would make a wordy retort. He pulled out the Mailbox SP and flipped it open.

"I didn't hear it ring," Larry breathed.

"You-a think I'm-a stupid enough to not turn down the volume on a beeping object when I'm-a close to a most-likely-near-impenetrable security system?" Mario said.

"Yes," the Koopalings replied.

Mario rolled his eyes before opening the RNN news flash and reading it to everyone (in a whisper of course).

"Well, we're in-a trouble now," Luigi said.

"Six Crystal Stars gone, and only one left," Larry thought out loud.

"We, us have, possess, own an advantage, ace-in-the-hole, however, though," Morton said.

"Say your next sentence without listing synonyms, Morton, and confirmations don't count," Wendy commanded.

"Fine," Morton said, "Our advantage is, according to the newsletter, that no one has absolutely any idea where the last Crystal Star is located!"

"Not-a everyone..." Mario breathed.

Everyone turned to him. "Of-a course!" Luigi thought, slapping his face in that I-just-remembered-something kind of way, "You know where-a the last one is, bro, because you-a hid them in the first place."

"Of-a course," Mario replied.

"Out of sheer curiosity," Wendy asked, "where did you hide the last Crystal Star?"

"Well..." Mario thought, "we're-a allies for-a the moment, so-a I'll tell you, but-a promise me and Luigi that you won't-a tell anyone else."

"Deal!" the Koopalings agreed.

"All right... After I-a made him triple swear he-a would never ever ever try to conquer the world again, I-a gave the last Crystal Star to-a Grodus."

***

Grodus rubbed the Crystal Star he held in his hands while he stood at his terminal in the main throne room. Although few could tell, he was very worried. Johnson and Reggie hadn't reported back since he contacted him hours ago. There was one small benefit; Grodus's rubbing was polishing the Crystal Star without a rag.

Grodus was about to call back when TEC's voice rang through the room. "Elite X-Naut Johnson is reporting in, Sir Grodus."

"Plug him through," Grodus responded.

The holographic screen came up and Johnson's face appeared on it. He saluted.

"Sir Grodus, I bring exceptional news," he said, "We have apprehended Crump and gotten away on an enemy ship without anyone noticing."

"Excellent work," Grodus replied, "Return to the fortress immediately, and don't spare the fuel."

"Yessir!" Johnson replied. He saluted and the screen shut off.

Grodus heaved a sigh of relief. However, this caused his grip to weaken some and the Crystal Star slipped from his hands and landed on the floor with a clatter.

"Sir Grodus, the Crystal Star is very fragile," TEC sounded, "Please refrain from dropping it."

Grodus grumbled for a minute while he picked up the Star and left the room to get ready.

***

Yosie paced the corridor outside Crump's cabin nervously as the X-Naut PhDs gathered data using floor scanners, a type of scanner that resembled a metal detector. The PhDs also wore a special type of shoe that didn't leave footprints, in order to avoid contaminating the crime scene.

Along with Lakilester and Dicer, Doopliss, General Guy, Susan, and Bombette soon arrived, attracted by the large explosion. They all waited patiently while the PhDs continued the investigation.

As the PhDs collected data from the scanners, they uploaded it into a PDA computer program codenamed "The Marauder's Map" for the way it displayed an intelligent being on a map. After they collected all the data they could, the PhD holding the PDA brought it to Yosie.

"The results, sir," he reported.

Yosie took the PDA. "Find out where that tunnel leads and report to me as soon as you find out."

"Right away, sir," he replied as the re-entered the room.

Yosie turned to his Commandos. "Gather 'round and let's have a look," he commanded.

They got together in a huddle and Yosie ran the data.

The screen displayed a parchment-colored room with black ink representing the walls, like on a map. A pair of footprints labeled "Lord Crump" was escorting another pair of footprints labeled "Lakilester" out of the room. Shortly after "Lakilester" left, the footprints labeled "Lord Crump" turned into a full body imprint. Six more footprint sets materialized from nowhere. One was labeled "Johnson", another "Reggie", and the other four shared the label "X-Naut." These four moved around in on "Lord Crump" and surrounded him, and "Lord Crump" disappeared from the screen. The six remaining footprints headed into the bathroom, the "X-Nauts" keeping in a perfect square as though they were carrying something large. Inside the bathroom, the "Lord Crump" prints reappeared, but they didn't move.

"The poor bloke must've been knocked out," Dicer stated.

"Big duh," Doopliss replied.

"It's looking rather slow 'bout now, Admiral," General Guy, "How's about a fast forward?"

Yosie bonked General Guy over the head with the PDA before pressing a few buttons, causing the speed of the display to double. Everyone watched as the "X-Naut," "Johnson," and "Reggie" footprints moved everywhere in the bathroom. Some times they went down the air vent, disappearing from the map as they went past the area the PhDs scanned.

After several moments, at a time all six mysterious prints were together, and a few of them flashed, indicating jumping in place. At that time, Yosie put the display back on normal speed and checked the time displayed in the lower right corner - it was about the time the Smorg extended the hooked Miasma during its battle with Roy if he was guessing right. The "X-Nauts" surrounded "Lord Crump", "Lord Crump" disappeared again, and all six headed down the vent and out of sight.

"Our kidnappers got out through the air vent?" Susan said confused.

"A regular-sized X-Naut should be able to fit through the thing," Lakilester thought out loud.

"For them, maybe," Bombette said, "but I'd bet my fuse they took Crump with them."

"My thoughts exactly," Yosie agreed as he closed the program and tucked the PDA away in his cloud, "The question now is, where did they go from there? All the air vents led into the Hand Cylinders, where the Red Glove Grabbers and the extendo-hands come out the bottom of the ship from; there's no way they could get past that point undetected."

Two X-Naut PhDs ran toward them from the cabin.

"Sir Yosie, sir!" they called as they approached.

"What now?" Yosie addressed them.

"We followed the tunnel as ordered," one of the PhDs reported, "and found out it continued straight into the hold, missing the turn off into the Hand Cylinder."

"They burrowed straight through the hold?"

"Yes sir," the other PhD added, "and there was something else. The Game Over SubShip Volcano 3 is missing from its dock. We think it was taken as an escape route."

"Volcano 3? That's my prototype for space travel! I've been working on that darn ship in my spare time for months!"

"We checked the travel logs on the hold's computer," the first PhD added, "We found that the Volcano 3 departed around the same time you were returning onboard from the Excess Express."

Yosie turned quiet, and everyone else was judging from that his expression that he was thinking, and when he was thinking the policy was "shush up or else."

"No other alternative, since Volcano 3 was the only spaceship we have," he finally spoke up, "Set course for Fahr Outpost immediately, full power."

"Right away, sir," the second one acknowledged as both of them headed for the helm.

"Fahr Outpost?" Bombette asked.

"You don't think the kidnappers would take cover in that snowstorm target, do you?" Susan added, "I mean, the only organization besides us that has X-Nauts is-"

"Grodus," Yosie interrupted, "I wouldn't expect less from Truely-Crome-Dome; he's hated every single fiber of Crump's being since he ditched him. Chances are he would drive TEC to shut-down in order to locate my Commando." He pulled out a deck of brown-backed cards and picked up the top one. Its front was yellow and had eight red-and-yellow starts, 3000 offensive points, 2500 defensive points, and a picture of a large white dragon with deep blue eyes. "However, now that his guard's down," he continued, "we're the ones holding all the cards."

Everyone felt the ship turn. Several objects in the cabin slid onto the floor. One of those was the hidden GameCube set, which Yosie picked up and stuffed in his cloud, along with the brown-backed cards.

"We can scan the continent for the last Crystal Star later; it's not going anywhere," he spoke as he left for his cabin, "Crump's rescue is more important right now. Now leave me to think of a plan."

"Um... you're leaving us," Doopliss called after him, but everyone agreed that the evil Lakitu didn't hear a word.

***

Bowser entered the dining room of Kastle Koopa. The room looked like many other rooms of the castle, although a long table with 12 chairs on each side. At the head of the table was a large elaborate chair for Bowser. Behind the chair was the double door leading to the kitchen.

He was only slightly startled by the fact the room was mostly empty, with the exception of a small number of Koopas leaving after cleaning the table. He was more worried about his stomach at the time and what yummy meal his wife had cooked up. He took his seat at the head of the table.

He waited a minute. The kids should've been here by now, he thought.

"Kids! Dinner!" he called.

Then he listened. It was quiet. Too quiet for them to be moving to the table.

"DINNERTIME!" he yelled.

Nothing.

"YOU KIDS GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW BEFORE I THROW YOU IN THE DUNGEON!!!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.

Still nothing.

He whispered as gently and quietly as he could, "Ice cream."

To his high level of surprise there was still nothing indicating a stampede. He was very confused.

Kammy and Kamek entered through the door Bowser came in and took their seats next to each other near the head of the table.

Kammy looked around. "Finally, we'll have a dinner that doesn't end in the Koopalings building forts and throwing spaghetti everywhere," she commented to Kamek.

"Oh, that only happened two weeks ago," the old Magikoopa replied, "They're not that bad. You must remember that time they went out for pizza."

"It wasn't that different," Kammy added, "The only difference was that they were throwing cheese, tomato sauce, and pepperoni. Not to mention they were thrown out for eternity."

Bowser almost blushed in embarrassment. He remembered that event. Everyone afterwards referred to it as "The Great Pizza Fiasco." The Koopalings had overturned tables for forts and, using pizza pans for shields, attacked everyone in the parlor by throwing bread and toppings. The manager paid the king 100 coins every week since then as a bribe to keep them out of the parlor.

Thinking about the Koopalings reminded Bowser of his question just as Clawdia came in carrying a huge silver tray topped with an equally huge and equally silver cover.

"Where are the kids out of curiosity?" he asked in a way that was more like thinking out loud, "they'll miss their dinner."

"You have been rather forgetful today, haven't you dear?" Clawdia replied as she set the tray down in the middle of the party of four, "They've been gone for two days."

It is often assumed when one is old, the mind is the first thing to go, and Bowser's expression at the response proved just that. While Kamek, Kammy, and Clawdia held conversations throughout the meal, Bowser remained quiet. Looking back, Clawdia believed that the Koopa king didn't even know just what he was eating.

After he was finished, Bowser stood up. "Please excuse me," he muttered, and left the dining room.

"His kingliness really seemed down today, didn't he?" Kammy thought out loud after he left.

"True," Clawdia replied, "I'll talk with him later tonight and see just what's going on inside that head." Having being done with her food, she stood up and headed to the kitchen to clean her plate.

***

Grodus stood in the lobby of the X-Naut Fortress. He continued to hold the Crystal Star in his hands as he waited.

A few minutes ago, TEC informed him that a small ship was approaching the fortress. After he scanned it, he added that the Game Over made it. Grodus figured it was the ship Johnson claimed they hijacked, and even if he wasn't, several X-Nauts waited with the commander in case the ship was hostile, along with several PhDs. Two Elite X-Nauts, Bill and Ed, were also present; Bill was looking out the window with a pair of binoculars, keeping a visual on the approaching aircraft, and Ed was keeping in connection with TEC via a private radio and keeping track of the vessel's status.

"We have a 60% increase in thruster power," Ed reported.

"She's still coming right for us, sir," Bill added.

"Just be sure we don't lose her," Grodus replied with bated breath. He couldn't wait to get his hands on Crump after he abandoned the X-Naut cause. Granted, there wasn't much of a cause since he swore to Mario he would never again try to overthrow the world, but he was still proud the X-Naut society hadn't dissolved.

His thoughts were interrupted by Ed crying, "We have a problem, sir Grodus! She's not slowing down!"

"How far is she?" Grodus asked Bill hastily.

"Approximately 100 miles... 95 miles... 90 miles... 85 miles..." Each new measurement was about one second apart.

Grodus panicked. He calculated the speed to be about 18,000 miles per hour; too fast for safe travel to the moon from Pilt.

"Where's it heading?" Grodus demanded.

"TEC's working on it..." Ed replied, also panicked, "Assuming it doesn't change direction, about 2, 3 miles in front of the fortress."

"The collision of an object going 18,000 miles per hour with the moon is enough to knock this whole thing into a new orbit!" Grodus shouted, "Do something!"

Suddenly, there was a huge crash. The fortress rocked like Noah's Ark in the storm, and more then one X-Naut fell to the metal floor.

And just as suddenly as the moonquake came, it went.

After Grodus retained his senses, he asked Ed, "What on Pilt just happened?"

"The vessel crashed," Ed replied, "Thankfully, it wasn't a direct hit; it skidded about 15 miles. And have you heard of the dark side of the moon?"

"Yes, the part of the moon you can't see from Pilt."

"About 25% of it is now."

Grodus rolled his eyes and accompanied the motion with a sigh.

Bill kept the binoculars focused on the wreck. He could see movement within the destroyed SubShip.

"Sir dude, sir!" he cried, "There are survivors from the wreak!"

"Friendly or hostile?"

"Can't tell yet, sir, although they look friendly... wait, I think I know one of them... it's... it's Reggie!"

"Reggie?" Grodus replied, "The squadron has returned!" He turned to all the normal X-Nauts. "All of you go out there and help them. PhDs, heal any wounds they have."

As the soldiers exited out the front door, Bill suddenly hopped a little.

"Sir dude! I mean, sir Grodus! Johnson and the other X-Nauts just emerged, and they're trying to pull something out of the wreckage!"

"What is it?"

"Can't tell, but whatever it is, it's defiantly bigger then a bread box."

The other X-Nauts from the fortress had reached the wreck by this point and began to help draw the object from the wreck of the Volcano 3. After several moments of pulling, the object finally came out.

"The object is Lord Crump! He looks like he's really hurt!"

"Gack ack ack..." Grodus laughed, "Serves that big buffoon right."

It took another half-minute before the X-Nauts returned, carrying a bound, gagged, and very hurt Lord Crump over their heads.

"Bring him to me!" Grodus commanded, and the X-Nauts passed Crump down until he landed with a bump on the metal floor in front of Grodus.

"Hello, Crump," Grodus said in a sarcastically nice way, "How are things? Oh, I've forgotten about that gag." He grabbed it with one hand and ripped it right off in a harsh manner. "Any last words before I throw you in detention?"

That's when Grodus realized something odd.

Crump wasn't looking at Grodus's face.

He was looking at Grodus's hands.

Or to be more accurate, at the Crystal Star in Grodus's hands.

"I SAID," Grodus repeated louder then before, "any last words?"

Crump looked at the X-Naut boss's face.

"Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! With all due respect, you just condemned yourself to gloom and doom by keeping that Star."

Grodus was confused at first, but he shrugged it off. "Take him to the detention center! Put him under maximum security!"

The X-Nauts did as they were bid and carried him deeper into the fortress, leaving Grodus, Bill, and Ed in the lobby.

"TEC? Ed here," Ed spoke into his headset, "Prepare our highest security level detention cell for Lord Crump. Over. Roger that. Over and out." He turned to Bill. "C'mon, man, let's hit the break room." The two Elite X-Nauts left.

Grodus and the Crystal Star remained alone with Grodus's thoughts. Crump's cryptic message remained in his computerized head. What did he mean that I condemned myself by keeping the Crystal Star?

Although he didn't know it then, he would eventually wish he hadn't hunted for Crump in the first place.

***

As one can guess, it was very slow at Fahr Outpost.

Slower then usual, I mean.

General White stepped out for a walk. The snow was falling heavily from the gray skies above. He heaved a large sigh, bringing in the cool northern air.

He made his way to the outpost's west side, which hid the silo holding, as the mayor called it, the "big boom cannon." He remained confident that it was safe from evil. The only non-Bob-omb that knew of its existence (as far as he knew) was Mario and his partners, and he only used it once; to shoot to the moon and save the world. He couldn't wait for the day he would be able to operate it again.

He noticed two figures enter the outpost from the pipe to Rougeport, which was some way away from the outpost. One was a Lakitu, whose face was shrouded in the shadow of his black parka's hood. He was also wearing black gloves. The other was a cute pink female Bob-omb.

Figuring he might as well be friendly to the newcomers, General White walked towards the Lakitu and his friend.

"Have you traveled far?" he spoke, "Welcome to Fahr Outpost. I'm General White."

"Greetings, General," the Lakitu spoke, although his mouth's movement was barely visible within the hood's cover, "I'm Gaston Austin Meover, and this is my companion, Bombboom."

"Hello, General," Bombboom spoke to White. Her voice matched her looks.

"What brings you to our isolated outpost?" White asked.

"Oh, it isn't much. Nothing, really. Less then nothing, in fact," Gaston replied, "We just want a little private chat with the mayor, is all."

"Very well," White agreed, "I'll show you to him; please follow me."

White took them to the east side of the Outpost, up to the mayor. The mayor's form resembled that of the other Bob-ombs of the outpost, except the mayor was green and had a mustache.

"Mayor," White addressed the green Bob-omb, "This is Gaston Austin Meover and his companion, Bombboom. They wish to speak to you in private."

"Da... I see..." the mayor replied. He turned to Gaston and Bombboom. "Please follow me."

He lead them to a small hut just east of Fahr Outpost (there was no need to show it in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door), which served as the mayor's humble abode. It looked just like all the other houses in Fahr Outpost. He opened the door.

"Please come inside," he offered. Gaston and Bombboom took the invitation, and the mayor followed them. The door closed behind them.

General White waited outside the house. It had been a very long time since outsiders had come. The last one, in fact, had been Mario and his companions. White had often wondered if the famous warrior would ever return to use the cannon once again for good.

His thoughts were interrupted as he noticed the mayor's house was starting to shake. Sounds of a struggle, along with several explosions, emitted. He dived for the door, but it was locked. The rest of the Bob-ombs were attracted by the noise.

White began to panic. What was going on in the house?

His question was answered when something burst out the door. It was "Gaston." "Bombboom" was riding on the cloud, and the Lakitu was holding the mayor with one hand.

"Gack ack ack!" the Lakitu laughed, "You guys are so dense, it almost hurts! I leave an obvious clue and you people don't even notice it!" He showed them the back of his left glove.

That's when it hit White. The orange stitching on the back of the glove was in the shape of a Poison Mushroom.

"Who you, and what you want with mayor BOOM-BOOM!" one of the Bob-ombs in the crowd shouted.

"Boy, this place is isolated," Yosie commented to Bombette, "They don't even know who I am! Think I can talk them into thinking we're good guys?"

"You're kidding, right?" Bombette replied, "You have their mayor captive. They're gonna assume we're antagonists."

"Good point," Yosie agreed before turning back to the Bob-ombs. "My name's unimportant. You just do what I want you to do, and you'll get your mayor back."

"I know not why you come," the mayor cried as he struggled in midair, "but you will not get what you want!"

"You so sure?" Yosie replied, "I have found myself to be very persuasive. For you see, they don't do what I want them to do, and I bury this whole bad excuse for a town in ice!"

Suddenly, Yosie's plan took what seemed to be a wrong turn; his ears heard the sound of over a hundred Bob-omb fuses suddenly lighting.

"You make one false move," White warned, "and we'll blow you to the moon!"

"That's exactly what I want anyway," Yosie retorted, "And if you blow up me, your mayor's going with me!"

"Don't worry about me!" the mayor cried, "Get rid of him!"

"I'm afraid that's not an option," Bombette replied to everyone's (including Yosie's) surprise, "We're one part of an entire organization, and every single member knows about that cannon! You lay even one ember on us, and they'll send all the major supervillians in the world the fact that the cannon exists!"

All of the Bob-ombs were stunned.

"Bombette, what was that all about?" Yosie breathed to the Commando, "We don't have any plan like that."

"You know that, and I know that," Bombette whispered back, "but they don't."

White was facing the biggest decision of this life: let evil do what they wanted, or tell the whole world about the cannon.

There were several tense moments where the only sound was the Bob-omb's fuses burning and the icy wind howling when General White spoke. "OK, what do you want?"

Everyone looked in shock at the white Bob-omb as Yosie snickered.

"My demand is use of this outpost's cannon in order to launch a small squad to the moon. Should you choose to assist me, I will return the mayor and keep the cannon under wraps, on my word as an evil Lakitu genius. Otherwise..."

"Otherwise...?"

"The entire Fahr region is going to face its own personal ice age!"

Yosie had them now. There was only one way to get out for the Bob-ombs now.

"Return the mayor and we will fire you to the moon," White demanded.

"Deal," Yosie replied as he tossed the mayor into the crowd, who managed to cushion his fall. The evil turtle heard the very pleasant sound of the wicks of the bombs going out.

"Get the cannon set up," he commanded, "We'll be back shortly."

And with that, he and his companion flew up into the sky.

White turned to the Bob-ombs. He had done a very disgraceful thing. The mayor walked up to him.

"I suppose you wish to spit on me?" White guessed.

"You did right thing," the mayor replied to White's surprise, "Not most honorable thing. But right thing. If we had not given them cannon, outpost would be destroyed, not to mention number of Bob-omb casualties would be astronomical. You are forgiven." He turned to the rest of the Bob-ombs. "You heard stranger! Prepare big boom cannon! And make quick. We losing daylight."